First off let me thank everyone who has dropped me a line or sent me good thoughts. It has been a rough month and the good wishes and emails have really meant a lot to me. The job search has been a very slow go. I had three interviews with the same company right before Christmas. It was a great place 2 miles from my house with great benefits, but ulitmately they decided to keep searching for someone. I was crushed, as I was feeling very confident after all those interviews. A few of the interviewers had even mentioned to me that they thought I'd be a perfect fit with their organization. I don't know what went wrong. I didn't even get a chance to send a thank you card before I found out I'd been shut down. Now I'd just like to tell them to bite me.
I had an interview in the city the day after Christmas. I feel really unsure about how it went. It was for a position doing the exact same thing as I had been doing at my last job. I went in to the interview feeling 100% prepared and confident, and then the interviewer asked me exactly one question. Not even a very difficult one. I tried to ask a bunch of questions and tie them into my experience, but it was just weird. I haven't heard anything since, but the company does a very lengthy background check so I'm trying not to read anything into it.
My mood as a result has been fluctuating wildly. One minute I'm feeling on top of the world, and the next I'm miserable and depressed. The holidays, surprisingly had been helping my spirits immensly. This year was the first time in ages that I was able to really relax and enjoy all the pre-holiday preparations. I spent alot of time with my nieces going to their school Christmas concerts, making gingerbread houses and having them help me decorate my Christmas tree. It was wonderful. They alone really make me feel so happy.
Now that Christmas is over it's been getting harder. I spent much of this week sitting around my house feeling miserable and sad for myself. I know this kind of behavior isn't helping matters any, but I've just felt overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. I always thought that at my age I'd be in such a different place. I always saw myself with a houseful of kids and a real career at this point in my life. I never imagined myself alone and jobless. I've never been much of a New Year's person on a good day, but this year is just a bit rougher.
Well I'm off to work at the theater. That, along with my nieces, has been one of my saving graces during all of this. As much as I don't want to be there it's been comforting to have some kind of schedule and someplace that I need to be regularly. Still it sucks having to work New Years Eve. Ugh!
I definitely want to start writing again more often. Maybe it will help me clear my head. Goodbye 2006, hopefully 2007 will be more promising than you were.
